CURRY BEAR

So I saw the latest Bond movie on Friday. The theater was also giving out movie posters with the purchase of each ticket. I stole all of them. Now many critics and even fans have said that this is probably the best Bond movie yet. That’s still arguable. However, I think Daniel Craig proves that he can make an excellent Bond. To like Daniel Craig as Bond, you have to somewhat forget about the last few Bond movies and go back to the original books. I wasn’t too fond of Pierce Brosnan as Bond – he was a posterboy Bond selected probably cause he’s a good looking mofo. Daniel Craig on the other hand is far from “pretty.” He’s proved himself as a good actor with the flick “Layer Cake” which I recommend all of you to see. So if your ideal Bond is a dude with a face like a supermodel, you need to whack your head with a wrench to blur your vision.

Daniel Craig’s Bond is different from all the other Bonds. From the way he walks to the way he fights, everything is different. All the previous Bond actors behaved a certain way. They copied the behavior of their predecessors, which was all set by Connery. The old Bond used to walk in a smooth way and fought well, but he was all fancy moves and no power. Daniel Craig’s Bond moves fast and hits people hard enough to give them brain damage. The very first intro scene will show you that this Bond is not someone to fuck with – he’s like a mix of Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne and Tony Jaa. I always wondered who’d win in a fight – James Bond or Ethan Hunt. But after watching Casino Roayle, I know that Daniel Craig’s Bond will fuck up Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt so bad that he will have a bigger gap in his teeth than Laurence Fishburne.

Casino Royale is a very different movie from previous Bond flicks. The Bond series is a lot like the Batman series. The last few Bond flicks over the past decade are like the Joel Schumacher Batman movies. They were…um..different. Casino Royale is just like Batman Begins – the director decided to hit the reset button and start from the beginning. And it worked. We go back to the very beginning to see how Bond got his career started. Similar to Batman Begins, Bond films now have a new life. The series has a potential to go back to it’s roots and start over again. Although I don’t think we’ll see a remake of classics like Dr. No, it will be interesting to see what directors do for the next few films. Casino Royale was made as an introduction to the Bond series for all you youngin’s who can’t remember movies like Octopussy and Thunderball.

Now the movie itself is rather long. Two and a half hours – don’t drink anything because when you watch Bond’s testicles get tortured, your nutsack will explode from holding a piss. Without giving any spoilers away, the introduction scene is in black and white and shows Bond’s first two assassinations as a 00 agent. There is some good action sequences in the first third of the movie, but the middle turns into an ESPN Texas Hold’em poker tournament. I think the director did a decent job with the casino game, but it dragged a bit long. Then again, how can you make a poker tournament exciting? After the poker tournament, we see a little bit of action and more plot twisits. For those who lose track of the plot after the casino game, there will be confusion at how the movie ends so abruptly, just like a call girl from Craigslist. Of course, the ending is not really an ending. It’s a hint at what’s going to happen at the next Bond movie. Also, I should mention that unlike previous Bond movies, you won’t see many gadgets. Why? Well, this is the first Bond movie and there is no introduction of Q yet. I’m sure they’ll introduce him in the next few films. Another final note I should make is that Casino Royale goes back to it’s roots with the stunts – it’s more real stunts and less CGI, which was a problem with the previous two Bond movies.

Should you watch Bond? HELL YES. When it comes to spy movies, Bond is the best. Even when the series got a little sucky with “Tommorow Never Dies” and “The World Is Not Enough,” Curry Bear says that you must watch this one to get back into the series. Casino Royale is also a great way to bring your girlfriend into the Bond series. After watching Daniel Craig’s body, maybe you’ll get some sucky fucky when the night is over. She won’t be thinking of you while she’s doing it, but do you really care?