CURRY BEAR

Dear People of Earth that originated from somewhere in South Asia,

Curry Bear has been talking about a new dance competition for a few weeks now. It is called Bollywood Smash and it’s the Naach Naach Revolution sequel. Now many people want to be in this new dance competition but since it’s the first of its kind, they are having trouble wrapping their heads around it. So I took some questions people had about this competition and sent it to the people behind DesiDanceTeams.com. They answered all my questions but I thought to myself no ones going to read this unless it’s funny. So I decided to do my own version of their frequently asked questions. I want people to join this competition because I’m most likely not reviewing any more competitions this year. However, since these are going to be online, I have no excuse not to. I’d really like to review many more teams because when I do, you become my friends on facebook and I feel all special, and don’t eat babies for months. So please register soon, do it for the babies.

What is Bollywood Smash?
It is a strictly online dance competition. It takes place on this new thing called the Interweb.

How does it work?
To put it simply, teams will submit videos of their performance to Bollywood Smash. After that, all they have to do is just sit back and wait for the results. In other words, this competition is a lot like having unprotected sex with a stranger and then waiting to get the results back from the clinic for your STD tests.

What is the format of this competition?
There are three rounds to this competition. The 1st round will be 2 weeks, the 2nd round will be 1 week and the 3rd round will be 1 week. You send all videos at the same time labeling which ones are for round 1, 2, and 3. Each week half the teams will be eliminated and the ones who don’t will move on to the next round. It’s kind of like playing Mortal Kombat 2 on Hard mode.

Is there a criteria for each round of the competition?
Yes. Round 1 will be “old school” performances. Round 2 will be new age Bollywood. Round 3 will be a creative freestyle segment where anything goes. When we say “anything goes”, we are strictly referring to dancing in your performance. Please don’t send us videos of your team having a wild orgy (ahem…Wanted Ashiqz..cough cough).

How is the winner of each round decided?
The winner of each round will be decided by a panel of judges and online voting separately. The special judge is Sauron, the giant scary eyeball from Lord of the Rings.

What happens if a team drops out after the 1st or 2nd round? Do they win any prize money?
The team is eliminated from the competition if they lose in the 1st or 2nd round and they don’t receive any prize money. Depending on how much they suck, they may or may not be thrown into the fires of Mt. Doom.

Who can apply to be part of this competition?
Any dance team in the U.S can apply. We may even accept some Canadian teams. But we’ll be honest, we will only allow Canadian teams into this competition so we can bully them and laugh at the way they say “about”.

What is the prize money for this competition?
There will be two prizes of $500 each . The prizes are subjected to increase or additional prizes will be added. If that’s not enough the winning team will get their own island in Dubai and some guy named Julio will seduce you. Just kidding about the island part, but not about Julio.

Questions for teams

Why should we as a team take part in Bollywood Smash?
This competition is the first of its kind. Teams won’t have to spend any money on hotels or travel. Another benefit for teams is that they can practice their dance and record it at their own leisure. Since the performance is not live, teams won’t have to worry about mistakes in their routines. Teams can practice their routines until they perfect them. Judges will view your videos over and over again analyzing it thoroughly. This video will basically represent your team at its finest. So if you win this, you’ve beat every other team at their A-game. That itself is a huge honor and something to brag about. Also, I heard this rumor that if a team doesn’t take part in this competition, then death will come after each dance team member. Yes people, it will be like Final Destination.

What is the registration fee?
$150 but $50 is refundable at the end as long as they don’t drop out. Are you going to really worry about $150? I mean seriously, how cheap are you guys? Other competitions are charging you $250-$400 bucks with no refund. It’s a recession guys.

How can we submit the video?
You can mail a DVD or just transfer the file online to one of the BWS organizers. Please don’t send us a Blu-Ray disc. I put a Blu-Ray disc of The Hangover in my computer and the Blu-Ray drive exploded in my face.

Can I submit an audition video?
No. This is definitely not recommended. If you do this, we will shit on the DVD that you mail us. Then we will record us taking a shit and send you a DVD of us shitting on your DVD.

What kind of videos can we submit?
Teams are allowed to record their routines, but the great thing about Bollywood Smash is that it gives you creative freedom. You can edit the video however you like. You can have multiple camera angles or special effects in your videos. Use your imagination and creativity to come up with something truly unique. We want you to send us videos that look like it was created by Michael Bay on acid. But we will also accept you guys just dancing while on E.

Can we pick the songs for this competition?
Yes, but they have to meet certain criteria.
Round 1 – old school songs (any song prior to year 2000).
Round 2 – new age Bollywood (any song after and including year 2000).
Round 3 – anything you want.
To make things more interesting, the mix in each round is encouraged to be “Mash-ups”. We don’t want teams to segment songs individually and perform to them. For “Mash-ups”, the songs chosen have to be blended, fused, intertwined and mixed through lyrics or instrumentals. Teams may also use non-Bollywood songs to mash-up with the assigned Bollywood style for the respective round. For example, you could mash-up “Beat it” and “Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai”.

How will we be judged on our performances?
The usual features such as synchronization, formations, and choreography will be weighed the heaviest. The added features such as Mash-Up, Video Editing, and Signature Choreography are just for creative and enjoyment purposes and will be weighed very little. It’s basically like any other competition except you are allowed to visually direct it the way you want. With the online feature, judges have the option of stopping and rewinding and watch it over again so nothing will get by them. If you can win this, then your shit is tight.

What if we don’t know how to edit our videos?
Don’t worry about the technical aspect of things. You will be primarily judged on dancing like a normal dance competition. However, if you were making a porno, editing would be really important. But we’ll worry about that when we do “Bollywood Smash that Ass!” First ever sex tape competition.

How much special effect can we add to our video?
Try to use special effects if it has a meaning and significance to your video. Don’t use unnecessary special effects. For example, if the theme of your performance is about love, there is no need to show a Matrix-style bullet effect. Seriously, I don’t know how a guy dodging bullets can look cool while “Papu can’t dance sala” is playing in the background.

This video editing stuff sounds expensive. It sounds like it might cost us a lot of money just to create a good video. Is it?
Unless you hire James Cameron to shoot your video while you dance on Pandora, this video should not cost you money. Try to find your campus tech-nerd who knows software that can edit videos or add special effects. Even if you use no special effects at all you can still win with a great routine. Camera angles make all the difference. You can add simple effects like slow motion for dramatic stunts, or black-white scenes for flash backs.

What kind of software do people use to edit videos?
Adobe Premiere, FinalCut, Adobe After Effects, Windows Movie Maker, etc…. There’s many free video editing software to be found on Download.com and other such places.

We don’t have a place to shoot this video?
What are you talking about? The world is your stage. Do it in a park surrounded by strangers. Do it in a mall right before getting kicked out by security. Do it in a library, Gym, outside your campus center. You can even ask your school to borrow the stage for a day and record it there. The only thing stopping you guys is the fear of asking and your imagination. Maybe also the fear of Julio seducing you.

Can we win naked pictures of Curry Bear?
Yes.

Why is this better than a regular competition?
We’re not saying its better. We’re saying it’s different. In a few years these competitions may go stale. We need to keep the younger crowd interested in this scene and we need your help. Your videos will be seen by millions of people on the internet rather than a few hundred at an event. You can show all your friends who didn’t get a chance to see you compete and maybe even get discovered. And you never know, some Bollywood director may come across your video on line and put you in there video (wink, wink). So CurryBear HIGHLY suggests that even though this is a dance competition, you may also want to consider looking extra sexy, both males and females. If not for Bollywood, than for Julio. Seriously though be careful he is hot as Enrique Iglesias but gay as Ricky Martin.

Is Curry Bear going to review these videos?
Yes! I am tired of going to competitions and then finding out they forgot to hold tickets for me. This is cheap for me (the viewer) as it is for you (the dancers). I will do an in-depth review of each dance in this competition. Also if the girls are hot, I may spend some quality time with the videos. This is most likely is the last competition I will be reviewing for the year.

PS: Julio is not a real person. I made him up. Relax, he will not rape you.

Registration dates are:
Register by Jan 17
Late reg is Jan 24

http://www.BwSmash.com
BwS@desidanceteams.com