Top 10 Desi Resolutions for 2010
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1. Stop wearing Ed Hardy and Affliction T-Shirts. It doesn’t look good on anyone.
2. Stop sporting the Brooklyn Cut. You are not Pauly D from The Jersey Shore nor should you strive to be.
3. Stop going to clubs and dancing on girls if you are a Desi uncle. If you are over the age of 29 you are too old to be at a party with 18 year olds.
4. Stop wearing colored contacts. I admit they sometimes look cool in pictures but in person you look weird especially if you are dark skinned.
5. Stop starting fights in clubs or concerts. Seriously, violence was so 2008. Girls only like guys who look like they can fight, not ones who go around ruining everyone’s fun by fighting over nonsense. You are a man; you should not be pushing little girls just so you can see Imran Khan.
6. Don’t brag about your SAT scores. Now it’s been a while since I took my SATs but I hear that’s the new thing to do in high school. Stop it. It’s tacky.
7. Stop saying “Nigga” after every sentence. You are not black. Stop acting like you are. This was cool in 1998. Some people think you should in fact never use that word. Well, I think it’s only OK when you are singing rap lyrics or it’s used in a joke. In order to use it in these scenarios you must have written permission signed by 2 black friends and must only say it in their presence.
8. If you are a DJ or a Party Promoter, stop sending out 1000 e-mails on Facebook about your party. It’s fine once in a while when you have a dance competition going on or something, but not every week.
9. Stop grinding on girls you don’t know at clubs. Seriously that’s not how you dance with a girl! If you want to dance with a girl at a club here is how you do it. Step 1: Be very good looking. Step 2: Be very very good looking. Step 3: Buy her a drink so as she gets drunk, you get better looking.
10. Spend more time with your family. Yes, we all see your awesome Facebook pictures of you hanging out a club with your friends and dressing like skanks, and being totally drunk. That is totally cool. There is nothing wrong with that at all. However, spend a little bit more time with your parents. Go take them to see “3 Idiots” or “My Name is Khan”. Hang out with your grandparents and listen to their stories, some of them are fascinating. Spend time with your cousins, nieces, or nephews and be good role models for them. After all that, you can whore it up in NYC.
Special Thanks to Sanjana for helping me come up with this while we were talking on facebook chat. Please feel free to talk to me more. Every conversation I have with people ends up inspiring another article.
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BEST List ive ever seen
The “nigga’ thing is so spot on..there are way too many brown tools out there thinkin they sound “hood”
If you want to dance with a girl at a club here is how you do it. Step 1: Be very good looking. Step 2: Be very very good looking. Step 3: Buy her a drink so as she gets drunk, you get better looking.
LOL !!!!!!!!
The picture that goes with #9 is hillarious.
this is fantastic.
I hear people say the word nigga so much that I almost rather hear it by actual racist than by desi kids thinking they are cool.
Best thing ever! If only people would make this their real resolutions.
most guys reading this most likely don’t realize that this is about them. hahah Seriously Ed Hardy shirts look like someone throw up glitter and shitted rock & roll cliche on it.
How about Ed Hardy shoes? I am dead serious.
There so true the ones about da clubs are so funi down right hillarious
THEY HAVE ED HARDY SHOES?!!!!!! I just threw up in my mouth!
awesome list.
one of my biggest pet peeve would def be the colored contacts, couple that with fake blond hair and i want to tell them to get a face transplant while their at it.
Yeah they have Ed Hardy shoes. Pretty much like Converse shoes, but with Ed Hardy designs on them.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/ed%20hardy%20shoes/azmanshukeri/DSC_0095.jpg
ugly
lmao that pic of the indian guy drooling over the white chick is priceless and very accurate ! And ed hardy clothing is for douche bags, that’s why so many indian dudes wear it lol…really it’s because they go to india and buy FAKE ed hardy and come back pretending it’s authentic, just like the fake handbags most indian women carry lol…im guilty of that one lol.
haha the fact that you figured all this out makes you the perfect man or bear. lol good job!
haha ugh i hate creepy 30 year olds at the clubs gridding up on freshie college girls. soo gross
ohh and abso HATE 1000 emails on facebook from promoters.
goodcall currybearr
errr, thats shiiit
this is the shit! hahah awesome
I really like this list. It’s true and we desi in the western world do need to change.
my favorite is ten. People do in fact need to spend more time with family! Sometimes I feel like the youngens feel too cool for family. But isn’t that what desi culture is about? Family and the love.