CURRY BEAR

Lately, many of Curry Bear’s guy friends have been in situations where they seem to be conflicted on whether they should puruse a girl or not. It seems that everyone is in some strange situation where they want to be with a girl but each one has a different problem that doesn’t make it simple. Curry Bear has decided to make it easy for these people by analyzing their situation in a new segment I call “Should I Pursue This Chick?”

Situation 1:
Lets call the guy Ajay and the girl Archana. Ajay wants to “get with” Archana. Archana happens to be the younger sister of Ajay’s friend Aakash. Should Ajay pursue this chick?
When it comes to the younger sister of your best friend, things can get very tricky. If I were Ajay, the first thing I would think about is what is more important – having a guy like Aakash as a bro or nailing Archana on a pool table. It all comes down to how good the friendship is between Ajay and Aakash. This is very important: the Bro Code takes precedence over any sexual urges. Let me explain it mathematically:
Bros. before hoes > Nailing a girl
Even if two guys are somewhat friends, it is still not OK to go behind a dude’s back and bang his sister. There are only two possible ways Ajay and Archana can be together:
1. Ajay asks Aakash if it’s OK that he date his younger, smoking hot sister and Aakash approves. But there are some rules:
– Ajay can never speak about how good Archana is in bed amongst friends if Aakash is present.
– Ajay must seriously date Archana. If he just decides to hit it and quit it, Aakash has every right to kick him in the nuts, which Ajay is legally entitled to accept.
2. Aakash totally fucks over Ajay (for exaple, Aakash owes Ajay $200 and never pays him). In this situation, Ajay has a call of duty to bang Archana. The amount of sum that he owes also plays a big factor. If it’s something small, say $50, then Ajay should only settle for a handjob. If it’s $200, he deserves to go all the way. Any amount higher than $200 means Ajay has a right to bang Archana, make a sex tape, and release it on the school’s file sharing server. This is all in the Bro Code.

Situation 2:
In this case, lets call our guy Nitin. Nitin is trying to get with a girl named Nisha. Nisha is the best friend of Nitin’s ex Neelam. One day Nisha and Nitin got drunk at a party and she started grinding on him like a grinder. Although nothing happened, Nitin knows very well that he can get with Nisha if he tries. Should Nitin puruse this chick?
One of the problems that digital cameras have created is that it is very easy to catch someone doing something naughty in an instant. Back when I was younger, I would hook up with my ex’s best friend and then wait a week for my ex to find out because the photos weren’t developed yet. These days, you can make out with a girl and it’s on Facebook right away. But Nitin’s concern shouldn’t be whether he’s going to get caught or not. He should analyze the situation like a computer programmer analyzes code:
IF I plan on getting back with Neelam == True THEN
ENDIF
ELSE
IF Neelam doesn’t matter anymore = True THEN
   IF Hooking up with Nisha = Problems between Neelam and Nisha THEN
      IF I don’t want to ruin their friendship = True THEN
      ENDIF
      IF I don’t care about their friendship = True THEN
         GOTO HOOKUP
      ENDIF
   ENDIF
ENDIF

HOOKUP:
DO WHILE I am still interested in Nisha = True
   Bang Nisha = True
LOOP

BASICally (hahah get it? I am such a nerd), Nitin shouldn’t hookup with Nisha if he still cares for Neelam or if he doesn’t want any problems to occur. No matter what, if you hookup with your ex’s friend, there’s going to be problems. If you think there won’t be any problems, you’re a fool. Women still care what you do even if you’re not with them, especially if your’e doing one of their friends. Let me put it this way, would you travel to Afghanistan tomorrow and not expect to get killed? In this case, if Nitin has no care about what his ex thinks or does, he is pefectly allowed to go and do whatever he wants to to Nisha. Whatever happens between Neelam and Nisha is not his problem.

The remaning “situations” for this segment will be continued in another post. Do email Curry Bear at CurryBear@CurryBear.com and let him know about your situations so he can analyze it. Don’t worry, I always use fake names. True story.