Curry Bear sees Slumdog Millionaire and finds out how he lost an eye
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Why is Curry Bear crying?
A. He was just left at the altar.
B. He is cutting onions.
C. He just got back his HIV test results.
D. He just saw Slumdog Millionaire.
Kids, I’m going to go straight to the point: You have to watch the movie Slumdog Millionaire. In fact, go watch it right now just in case you get hit by a bus tomorrow.
Everyone had been raving about this movie and if it wasn’t for it’s limited release, Curry Bear would have seen this movie many moons ago. It finally came to a local theater near my neighborhood and I ran to see it. Really, I ran to see it because bears are not allowed to drive. I’ve heard nothing but great things about this movie and let me tell you – it lives up to the hype.
So you might be asking, what’s the movie about C-Bear? Well like most of you, I had never read the book this movie was based on – Q & A by Vikas Swarup. To be honest, I stopped reading books when I discovered porn in 7th grade. It’s a very interesting and unique plot. A young boy, Jamal Malik, is a contestant on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? However, he is suspected of cheating because Jamal Malik is nothing more than a chaiwala (somebody who serves tea for all you Hindi illiterates) who works at a call center. How can a kid who grew up in the slums of Mumbai know the answers to these questions? Even one of the cops interrogating him says that doctors, lawyers and engineers only get up to the Rs.16000 question but this guy has made it all the way. We find out how Jamal does it because every question is somehow related to his life. The movie moves forward through a series of flashbacks that show Jamal as a young 7 or 8 year old boy, then a teenage Jamal and finally an 18-year old Jamal who is on the game show.
I have to say that this movie cast some of the best actors I have never seen before. My favorite is baby Jamal. He’s about 7 or 8 years old and not really a baby, but I like calling him baby Jamal. And I got to tell you people, baby Jamal is my boy. I want to go out to a hospital and steal a newborn baby boy just so I could have a baby Jamal of my own. Even baby Jamal’s brother, Salim, is an amazing actor for a kid who is probably only 10 years old. In fact, every actor in this movie was amazing. Irfan Khan as the interrogating cop, Anil Kapoor as the game show host, Mahesh Manjrekar as a goonda and the young kids who play Jamal and Salim. I’m so glad these actors were given the opportunity to act in this film. The only actor that was a disappointment was Freida Pinto, who plays Jamal’s love Lathika. She is not awful but every other review I read has hyped up her performance. She’s just another pretty face. Sadly, the two girls who play young and teenage Lathika are better actors than Freida Pinto. However, she is really pretty. So pretty that you would actually believe a guy would go through all Jamal went through to be with her. She is barely in the movie, so her acting does not make much of a difference in this movie.
There are very few movies in Bollywood that ever show you the poor side of India. Slumdog Millionaire captures that aspect so well that it might as well be a documentary on poor people in India for the Discovery channel. Having lived in Mumbai, I can tell you that this movie does justice to the poor people of India. There is nothing far fetched in this movie. It shows you the beggars, the jhopadpatis (again, slums for you Hindi-illiterates), the criminals and the cops in India as they are in real life. I saw this movie a second time and realized how a few things pay homage to Bollywood movies (stay till the very end to find the biggest salute to Indian cinema).
How did Curry Bear feel after watching this movie? I felt happy, sad, wanted to cry and then felt like adopting all the poor kids in India. Most Bollywood movies touch me the way a Catholic priest touches a choir boy because I feel like 2 hours of my life have been raped. But Slumdog Millionaire is the kind of movie that makes you feel good because everyone loves a rags to riches story. However, this is not just a rags to riches story. It’s a love story. The movie is made so well, that it does not bother you that it is a love story. You pale bitches can have your damn Edward Cullen, for he is now Slumdog Millionaire. It’s a sad thing that a whitey made a better Indian movie than any director in Bollywood ever could. Director Danny Boyle understands India, and especially Mumbai, a lot better than most Indian people I know. I think every desi person should see this movie and make it a duty to tell others about it. As one of the character’s from the movie said, “This is the real India.”
I have to give this movie 4.5 paws out of 5. I have to cut off half a pinky because Freida Pinto is an over hyped pretty face (that I wouldn’t mind doing unspeakable things to in the back of a train station).
Here’s one fact I found out about this film that made me feel real good:
- Baby Jamal and young Lathika are actual kids from the slum and not real actors. They are now put in school and there is a trust fund setup for their education.
Oh, and the answer to the question at the top was:
D. Curry Bear was crying because he saw Slumdog Millionaire. If you knew Curry Bear, you’d know that he has no plans to get married, he doesn’t eat onions, and having unprotected sex with a bear is completely fine. Also if you watched the movie, you would know how I lost my eye.
What a legit review.
Yo Baby Jamal is a bigger fan of Amitabh than I will ever be.
I happened to see clips of the movie before I saw it, so that kind of ruined it for me. I wish I had seen it without knowing a single thing about the film. The best part was this black lady sitting next to me, who kept on saying “oh my god!” during all the scenes that showed how they sell “bottled” water in restaurants, how the kids would steal things, etc.
I’d rather watch a documentary about the slums/India than a movie. The truth of India is far more fascinating than fiction.
PS – I thought the mom was pretty attractive
great movie great review
good review, you should do more
It was really sad when the mother died. I almost cried at that scene.
1. The mom was a “maal piece” (“hot babe” for you Hindi-illiterates)
2. Great Review CB.
3. This was not a bollywood production at all. Agreed that it has the shine of a bollywood production, such as Bollywood stars, Anil Kapoor, Irfaan Khan, Shourab Shukla (the fat constable a.k.a. Kalu Mama from Satya) and music from A.R. Rahman and even the song with the 500 karan johar style backup dancers at the end.. However, the film was produced by Film4 a TV and Film Production company based in the UK and Celador Films and distributed by Fox Searchlight and of course directed by Danny Boyle (famous for Trainspotting).. The story took place in Mumbai and all the characters are Indian but this film is truly a Independent..
Not to say that Bollywood isn’t great and yes it does rape people for 2-3 hours most of the time, but it also brings out some crazy things like this… To name a few, Black Friday (about 1993 Bombay Blasts), Amu, Satya, 3 Deewarein, Mr. & Mrs. Iyer..
If people like this movie, they should really check out Salaam Bombay as well.
I’m sorry, but that was a terrible review.
I’ve never read your blog and I hate to be a blog troll, but i wanted to let you know your writing is horrid.
Though I’m glad you covered this film.
Don’t give up on thinking about adoption.
time better spent.
this is an awesome movie and india does have an ugly side in regards to the slums but i hate it when they keep saying this is the real india.. because yes it is real but its not the only side to india. americans can never bear(no pun intended currybear) to see the other side of the spectrum- the opulent developed side of india that is on a parallel track with the west in many aspects. to americans, india will always be a backward impoverished country. or if they happen to see past that, it’s just filled with a bunch of fobby call center workers.
Great film, but still disturbing to see that side of India. So much charity work on helping these kids, yet it’s fed to the criminals.
This movie is definetly one of the best movies that has come out of India. It really does show the ruthless part of India. We need more Films like these to make people realize that these kids are the future of our country….if don’t take care of them there is no good future for our country.
I mean India wants to become a powerful and ecomonically stable country but its unable to provide a decent or above poverty life for it’s citizens???
I hope the social organisations all over the world come forward and help the slum dwellers of India
First of all, those who go completely ga..ga.. about this movie by saying “they showed the right part of India”, just tell me if you have a place in the world where there is no such thing happens at all. The poverty, slums, unemployment, gundaism, child labour, etc are everywhere in the world, including the world’s so called economic power country USA. Only thing here is they do not speak or in other words, go ga..ga.. about it as much as some of the NRIs(Never Returning Indians!!!) do. So, before you could speak anything about India, just think what have you done or contributed towards the betterment which went vain that you are talking like that. Now about the movie, first of all, the lead character which was named Ram mohammed thomas in the original novel Q&A has been named Jamal Malik purely for commercial reasons. So, it is very clear that this is just another movie that was made with profit making as the absolute motive. Just look at it as a movie. That’s all. There are similar movies that talk about the greyer things of the other parts of the world. Watch this movie also like one among them. Don’t get into this media nonsense of looking at it as a movie about India.
The film shows only one side of the coin “Real India”, slums, crime, poverty but what about the other? It won the Oscar because the Westerners love to see negative side of India otherwise there is nothing very spectacular about this film. Why Lagaan missed the award, because inspite of poor and illetrate people, they dominate the mighty British.
good that someone from the slum are brought out of poverty to proof that there are smart people too but did not have the chance to challenge the rich and the smart.
this movie rocks the songs are really cool
this gives u hopes
I really love Freida Pintos performance in slumdog milionair. She is a great and beautifull actress. So now it is just awesome, that she will become the next bond girl.
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