Stuff Brown People Like #4 – Fighting At Desi Parties
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Curry Bear has never been to a desi party where a fight did not occur. It’s true and Curry Bear has been partying since ‘89. Every party I’ve ever been to at a club had a fight or at the least a fight that almost occurred before the big, black bouncer kicked everyone out. When I saw my first fight at a desi party, I thought it was simply two people fighting over Kashmir. The reality is that people at desi parties fight over the dumbest reasons. If some mofo steps on another guy’s shoe or spills a drink, they start a fight. If someone accidentally talks to another guy’s girlfriend, they start a fight. If one guy grabs another guy’s ass, they start a fight. (OK fine, the last one deserves a punch in the face).
Why do brown people fight? There are several reasons why fights take place at desi parties/desi events. I think brown people have a gene or some chemical imbalance that provokes them to become belligerent in a desi setting. For example, the brain releases a chemical called dopamine when a person falls in love. Similarly, when a brown person is at a desi party or in a congregation full of brown people, the brain releases a chemical to make them easily irked. I call it Dumbamine.
This urge to fight applies to all brown people. It does not matter if you are Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi. There will be a fight if too many of them are together. The West Indian brown people seem to be immune to this trait. It must be all that exposure to weed. The chill Caribbean customs seems to lay these urges dormant. If Indians and Pakistanis had smoked weed in the 1950s, the Kashmir issue would have been solved long ago.
Perhaps brown people think it makes us cool to almost be in a fight or we want to make up for some shortcomings. I don’t understand what we think is going to happen. Do we think some random girl will think to herself “Wow, that guy almost got into a fight and started cursing in Punjabi; he will make a great baby daddy”. That will never happen. All I know is that coming from a nation known for non-violence protests, we have seriously gone astray. I wonder if Gandhi busted a cap in a club in his younger days.
Another thing “Brown people love about fighting at desi parties” is fighting only with other brown people. Yes, we will never fight the random black guy at the party because we know that most likely he can kick our ass. We will also never mess with the white guy at the party because he probably has a good Jewish lawyer. However, to be fair we may be more likely to fight a desi person at a desi party because percentage wise, there will be more brown people at these parties than any other race. However, 9.5 times out of 10 the fight will be between two drunk, belligerent, and retarded brown guys. The .5 is in case there are two desi midgets at a party. Also, none of these fights will ever result in anybody going to the hospital or with any major injuries. The worst thing that results from these fights is that one guy’s Brooklyn cut is all messed up and the other guy needs a new pair of Pumas.
If I were a desi party promoter, I would have a Nintendo Wii at every desi party. If two people decide they want to fight, they’d settle it in a game of Super Smash Brothers Brawl. The winner gets to stay and the loser has to drink Shirley Temples.
Salman Khan would be Picachu bc they both never wear shirts.
Maybe desi guys think that a desi party is like a Mario Party where getting in a fight will give you a bonus star at the end.
It’s always the guys in the pink shirts that get into fights too..Anyone else notice this?
alright more “Stuff brown people like” I love these!
They do like to “almost fight” haha
holy shit hpl i didnt think of it but its true!! those pink shirt wearing fake thugs are always startin fights
The only Desi event I attended didn’t have a fight… =) GO MIPSA!
What’s MIPSA?
So Saturday night at Earth I saw a souped up honda with a “Desi Ryders” decal on it. Warning bells went off in my head.
Sure enough, two fights broke out that night.
Coincidence? You tell me.
You think the desi ryders are bad? The bhangra team Virsa’s even worse. They freakin picked a fight with an aunty and her kid.
Shirley Temples are yummy! sheesh!
an Aunty and her kid? WTF And not single anyone out but its usually the punjabi people.
That is sooo unattractive. It just shows you can’t control yourself.
I wud love to pick a fight with a guy at a desi party as long as I fight him in Smash Bros and I get to pick Bowser.
NIgga please, it’s all about Wario, he’s a true gangsta. He’s like Sunjay Dutt, he can get straight up gangsta or funny.
what’s wrong with shirely temples?
I never realized it. We could from a country of non-violence protest (Ghandi) and yet, we are the most violent people. Good observation Curry Bear. Sometimes i feel like you are a really intellectual professor who has an immature side haha.
And Hritkh Roshan would be Star Fox. And Anil Kapoor would be Mario. LOL
10pm and 1am pictures are so awesome, it’s sooo PERFECT. Haha i love it.
I have never seen a good fight with a brown person. They are the weakest fights ever. A few swings and a few misses and then they actually wait a second for someone to break it up.
Yeah tell me bout it Diesel. I was at a party where one guy was in a fight and telling his buddies “Hold me back man, hold me back before i wreck this fool” I mean, if you’re gonna fight why ask your friends to hold you back you pussy?
haha so true man so true…keep em comming curry bear
Hold me back? LOL I remember that from the middle school days but we did it as jokes.
Indian people are so whack with those fights. Do they think they tough getting into those fights?
Every desi party i go to from now on, i will get on top of the bar and take my jacket off. And then go home and play Super Smash Bros
haha it is usually the punjabiis
but yeahhhh Smash bros!
cb is so creative, who else would have thought to compare mario bros and an indian party?! not to mention: “dumbamine”- genious! great article anyone that create a new nuerotransmitter deserves mad props- go cb!
So true, happened at my Indian friends 21st bday at a hall. This made my other Indian friend think she needed to hire security at her wedding… she didnt… lets just say she should have.