CURRY BEAR

Kids, it’s the season for Bollywood actors to go to jail. First it was Sanjay Dutt. Now it’s Salman Khan. Hmm…maybe Curry Bear was wrong about his theory of how rich people can’t go to jail because they have uber amount of money.

If you’re unaware of the news, couple years back Salman Khan went on a trip and killed an endangered species. Specifically, he killed a Chinkara, also known as an Indian Gazelle in Jhodpur. Of course, you should all know that Curry Bear does not condemn the killing of any animal, unless it’s Pooh Bear. He was given a 5 year jail term, which was appealed and he was granted bail. However, on August 24th, the court decided to upheld the 5 year prison sentence. This is not the first time Salman has been in trouble with the law. In 2002, he ran over pedestrians sleeping on a pavement with his SUV because he was drunk. One died and three were injured. The matter was settled outside of court…with lots of money and free DVDs of “Maine Pyar Kiya” given to the victims family.

As of right now, Salman’s lawyers are waiting to file an appeal while he spends his nights in jail. His appeal will have to wait because Tuesday is Raksha Bhandan and if he doesn’t get bail by Thursday, he will have to spend Friday night in stinky prison cells.

So what does Curry Bear predict will happen if Salman goes to prison for 5 years? Here’s a scenario: Salman’s brother Arbaaz will watch the entire first season of Prison Break, shave his head, get a degree in Civil Engineering, and then try to rob a bank. He will transfer himself to the same facility as his brother. Once there, he will try to create an entourage that will help him escape the prison. Once they’re out of prison, Salman and his brother will go to Dubai, which is the Panama of the middle east. Curry Bear’s only hope is that this Salman saga turns into a real life version of Prison Break. However, if his other brother’s IQ is as bad as his acting, then there is no hope. But in the long run, this will give Curry Bear time to come up with jokes.