TMDB: The Scorned Identity by Samir
You know how every girl has that story about what an asshole this guy is. Well here is a story from the side of the asshole. Sometimes all it takes to be an asshole is bad timing and some negligence. So the story starts three years ago when my parents bring up this ristha. Let’s say the girl’s name is Puja Shah. She seemed like a perfectly fine girl. She was nice, modest, and probably smart. So when this ristha was starting to go down this girl must have looked me up on facebook and noticed we had mutual friends. So she asked one of my friends about me. Now this friend is a lot closer to her than she is to me, so she’s bragging about Puja telling me how nice she is, how awesome she is, how little facial hair she has. Truth is this girl probably was really cool.
So my parents sent in my picture and bio-data and urine sample or whatever it is parents send nowadays. Her parents supposedly loved me. They liked my background, education, the way I look, the way I act, the way I lie (OK lasts one was an eminem song). The girl seemed to like me too from what I heard. Well I wasn’t really ready to get married. So after arguing with my parents for a while I told them that I was not ready. So my parents just kind of ignored their calls hoping they’d get the hint. Well they didn’t. They e-mailed, called, and called up my parent’s mutual friend until my parents called them back and they finally let them down like a bad first date.
Our mutual friend even asked me what happened. I said I wasn’t ready to get married. I feel like I’m young and if I got married now I will end up regretting it. Looking back on it now, I was totally right. I would have definitely regretted getting married that young. She told me the girl was upset but she’ll be OK. I felt really horrible but I figured it was better to say no to her now before I actually meet her and things got too serious like a bad bollywood movie called “Jab We Never Met”.
So fast-forward 3 years back to the future. I am three years older and man did I live the last three years. I partied, I traveled, and I even punched a kangaroo (to be fair he started it). I did everything I ever wanted to do and I don’t even mean that in the sleazy I had threesomes’ kind of way either (although I am pretty sure that kangaroo was being very suggestive). Then I had gone on this one vacation where I partied so hard I never wanted to party again. So I tell my parents I’m ready to settle down and get married. I got everything out of my system and now I want some stability. I don’t want to be out at 4am at a club anymore. I want to be snuggled on the sofa watching a romantic comedy with the girl of my dream. Honestly, The Proposal is a pretty good movie, I had to download a bootleg copy and watch it in my room when no one was home. So my parents started looking for a girl for me. For some reason it’s a lot harder finding a girl now than it was three years ago. I mean I’m still good looking (I’m no Matt Damon but I do alright) but after the fall of the economy everyone wants a doctor nowadays. Engineers are actually looked down upon by these people whose daughter went to school and studied bullshit major so she can marry rich.
So one day I stumbled upon my friend’s facebook profile. This was the same mutual friend who tried to hook me up with that girl three years ago. I saw that this beautiful girl left a comment on her wall. I thought she was stunning. Well it turns out her name was Puja Shah. I thought to myself why does that name sound so familiar. Then it hit me! That’s the girl I turned down?! I didn’t want to tell my parents that I saw this girl on facebook because I don’t want them to know that facebook exist. This is mostly because of the fear that they’ll make an account and want to add me one day. Then they will see that “Samir likes waking up with morning wood” as one of my fanpages. So I asked my parents whatever ever happened to that girl.
Well my parents inquired and turned out she was still single. I was excited as a fat girl in line for Twilight! So I even asked our mutual friend a few questions about that girl. I told her that I was interested in her. Well she relayed the message and I think the girl was still interested in me. So my parents told me that her parents were excited to meet us. I thought everything was coming together so nicely and everything worked out to plan.
Well I was wrong. When they finally sent the pictures of this girl, it was not the girl I saw on my friend’s facebook wall. It turned out she just had the same name. The girl I thought I was being set up with was not this girl at all. This was a bigger shock to me than any M. Night Shyamalan movie but it sucked just as hard. I start to panic. I literally feel sick to my stomach. So I said to myself “To the cloud!”. Then I realized that this was real life and not a windows live commercial. I thought well let me check this girl out anyways. I saw her pictures and even though she was not bad looking. I didn’t feel an attraction. I didn’t feel anything when I saw her picture. All I felt was anger toward myself for making such a dumb mistake. So after stressing over this for three days, I decided to just tell my parents the truth. I told them I didn’t want to marry this girl. So her parents again, hounded our phones, sent several e-mails until we had to let them down again. So if you ever asked me what was the worst thing I ever done in my life? I would say “punched a kangaroo”. However, if you asked me what was the second worst thing I did in my life? I would say “I turned down a girl for marriage only to look her up three years later to get her to like me again and turn her down again”.
Now I don’t know what else I could have done. In hindsight, I’m sure there are several things I could have done differently. However, I couldn’t marry someone based on a case of mistaken identity. I know it was a selfish thing to do, but people are selfish all the time. Sometimes someone takes the extra sandwich ice cream from the fridge, sometimes someone cuts you off on the turnpike, and sometimes someone steals the credit for your ideas. However, this was love. When I marry someone it’s going to be forever. I don’t believe in cheating. So I have to be sure. I have to be 100% sure that I like their personality and that I’m attracted to them. I’m trying to find the love of my life, and if I can’t be selfish in that, what can I be selfish with? I still haven’t been able to find someone since then. I feel like its karma. Oh well, all’s fair in love and risthas.