You know, for the past week I’ve been doing a lot of net surfing and sadly not paying attention to my own site. I have come to realize that I am the most unproductive person on this planet because I do nothing but read snippets about other people’s lives. There have been days I’ve been too lazy to go downstairs to get a glass of water. I just turn off the fan, wait to start sweating and then lick my sweat. True story. By now you all must have heard of Fmylife.com (FML). I have to say that I follow this site religiously now. I even downloaded a special app on my iPhone just to keep up with this site. The little tidbits about other people’s fuck-ups in life amuse me and make me feel better about myself. Lucky for us, there have been a lot of copy-cat sites that kept popping up. Here are some of the ones I read regularly.
Textsfromlastnight.com – Aaah what a clever idea. Get people to post their text messages on the internet and make millions! I wish I had thought of this. I actually like this site better than FML because I can relate to it better. I have plenty of whacky friends who text me random stuff, and if I weren’t lazy I would post some of them on this site. Here are some I just pulled off the site:
(845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star…
(510): he said he didn’t have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that’s fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah – he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night…and he didn’t stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that’s not the point.
Mylifeisaverage.com – This site is a great spoof of FML. While FML has people talking about their most embarrassing moments or big fuck ups, Mylifeisaverage.com is exactly what the title says – people talking about how their life is just plain average. But this site is only funny if you’ve read FML. Here are some snippets:
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I was thinking aout marriage. I did not want to answer, so I tried to chew it over with twix. Time did not stop, and I ate it awkwardly. She just stared. MLIA
Today, I took a scantron test at school. I realized I got 5 b’s in a row. I went back to check each one because it made me feel uncomfortable. MLIA
Last night, my dad walked in on my girlfriend and me. He asked if he could join in. We were playing rock band. MLIA.
Today, I got an F, I really, really, dreaded getting an F but I knew it was inevitable. That’s just how Scrabble works sometimes, though. MLIA.
Givesmehope.com – Man I love this site. This is a feel good site. While the other sites I mentioned will make you laugh, this site will make you feel good. Every time I feel down, I come to this site to give myself a boost. GMH makes me believe that even though this world is filled with criminals, rapists, chi-mos and murderers, there are still plenty of good people out there. In fact, this website makes me want to donate to charity. Read some of the posts while I go cry:
Today, I took a stroll through Manhattan, and I saw a man put a quarter in a parking meter. He then put a quarter in every parking meter that needed time on it so they wouldn’t get towed. GMH
I woke up one morning to hear the birds outside my window and my mother cooking breakfast downstairs. I’ve never cried so much in my entire life. I had been deaf since the age of 8.
Two years ago, I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bottle of painkillers. My online friend, who I’d never met, was the only person who knew. He called 911, they pumped my stomach to save my life. Today, I got my bachelor’s degree in sociology. I’m now going to grad school. GMH
My father was diagnosed with cancer and passed away 4 years ago. Recently, I stopped by his online blog. I found out my son had been leaving him comments, saying things like how he missed him, and how he is studying hard in school, and that he would study hard to find a cure to cancer so that people wont miss their grandfather like he does. GMH
Mylifeisdesi.com – Of course, it would be a crime if a desi didn’t take advantage of the FML phenomena. I just wish I was the guy who came up with this idea first. Now if I try to make a desi version, it’ll just look like a copy-cat of a copy-cat. But I will say that some of the desi stories on this website are hilarious while others not so much. Here are some of the good ones I saw:
Today, my dad asked me if i want a “viper”. I said yea. He got a wind shield wiper for my car. -MLID
Today my dad’s desi business partner who flew in from India came shopping with us at the mall. My dad would suggest things to buy and he would use his handheld calculator to convert from Dollars to Rupees and would say “Bahut mehnga hai!!” We spent 3 hours in the mall. He didn’t buy anything. MLID.
Today, I went to a club. This girl came up to me and started dancing. I didn’t know what to do so my fingers automatically pointed towards the sky and I busted out bhangra. MLID
Today, my father told me I’m too old and my “peak” time is almost over for getting married. But he says I’m too young to stay up and watch TV till 2am. I’m 25. MLID.