I’ve had the unfortunate luck of meeting a lot of new people lately and I dislike all of them. All of the ones I disliked were guys. And yes, they were all desi. I’m not a pessimist or a people hater, but the number of desi people I meet who are douchebags is far greater than the nice desi people. I don’t know why I do this to myself, but every time I go out to party with my friends, I meet new people and they all act like major tools. In fact, I’ve met so many of them that I’ve developed a spider-sense that warns me when I’m about to shake hands with a tool. I guess it should be called tool-sense, but that just doesn’t sound cool.
About a month ago, I went to meet some friends at a girl’s apartment for her birthday. While I was there, I stepped outside to get something to drink and ran into a desi guy at the front door downstairs. This guy was rocking shades at 9:30 PM and wearing a blazer. I swear, I wasn’t checking him out or anything. I just notice things like when someone wears sunglasses when there is no sun. Just looking at him, I could tell he was going up to my friends apartment and what do you know, I was right. Since there were too many people, I never got introduced to this guy and neither did I want to know him. The first sign of his douchebagery that I noticed was when he saw a pack of Listerine pocket strips lying on the table. They were mine. Mr. Tool just walks up to the table and says, “Oh sweet, a Listerine pocket strip!”. He rips open the brand new packet and takes one the packs. I didn’t say anything. I could’ve mauled him to death with my bear claws but I didn’t want to start shit over Listerine pocket strips and ruin a girl’s birthday. Later on that night, we all went to a lounge. At the place we grabbed a small area to ourselves. We were going back and forth from the bar, to the dance floor to our table area. A girl pointed out to me that the tool was sitting in our table area, and sipping on her drink. If he had done this once, I would’ve said to myself “OK maybe he just got his drink mixed up.” But no, this guy had to go and grab another drink that was sitting on a table and take a sip from there too. I really regret not putting cyanide in that drink.
There have been many other occasions where I’ve met people and from the first moment I knew I wouldn’t like them. Some people just give off a “tool” vibe, kind of like how cellphones give off radiation. I’m pretty sure this tool vibe is just as damaging to a person as cellphone radiation. I sometimes feel like there is a tumor in my brain that grows in size every time I meet a tool. I’ve come to accept that many desi guys are cocky, arrogant, love to show off and I will not like them. I feel bad for the desi girls out there because if they want to date desi guys only, there are not many good choices out there. Not everyone can be as awesome as Curry Bear.
But Curry Bear has realized that there is a lesson in every experience. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has run into these kinds of people. There is too many of them and I can’t be the only sucker who gets to meet them. The lesson I’ve learned is that by meeting these tools – who act like hardcore thugs, brag about bullshit, and steal fucking Listerine pocket strips – is that the good friends I have are appreciated a lot more. Good friends are hard to come by, and everyone I’ve talked to wishes for it. It’s a sad thing but we have to be very careful about who we chose to let into our lives. Curry Bear’s advice to all you youngins starting your Freshmen year is that be careful and smart about the type of people you hang out with in college.And as always, don’t leave your drink sitting on a table – someone might steal it.