The Hairline Paradigm
When should I get married? Curry Bear receives many e-mails from guys asking him this question. The second most question I get asked is whether I am a top or a bottom. How young is too young? Well, there is your first mistake. When you should get married has nothing to do with age. An age that is right for you may not be right for another guy. When a guy asks himself if he should get married, this requires thinking and self evaluating. I don’t think this is necessary, if at all. Why ask your mind when your body already gives you the answer?
This is where I (the almighty Curry Bear) came up with a theory I call The Hairline Paradigm. When a man’s hairline begins to recede, so should his desire to be single. This is your body’s way of telling you that you have reached the apex of your looks. You are only going to get uglier, have more wrinkles, get prostate cancer and become balder. Your mind becomes delusional after a few years and lets you believe that you can still be a cool single guy in your mid to late 30s. I hate to pop the bubble, but none of these guys will ever be cool. Remember when you were 18 years old, sneaking into Club Abyss in Sayreville, NJ and you would see old uncles at a club looking awkward? Well, Marty McFly that is your future! Is that what you want? Think McFly …think! Now don’t get me wrong. Some guys can be old and still not get married. Take George Clooney for example. He is an older man but not getting married is not hurting him at all. Why is this? He has a full head of hair. Look at John Stamos. That man can be old as dirt but with that head full of hair, I bet Michelle Tanner would still fuck him.
Desi guys have the luxury of waiting longer to get married. A Desi girl on the other hand has a real hard time getting married after 26. But desi guys have a back up, a.k.a arranged marriages. Since age gaps are so large in our culture, the longer the guy waits the larger the age gap can be. A 35 year old guy marrying a 23 year old girl is not unheard of. Think about it ladies – if a guy knows he will most likely end up with a younger girl than you if you break up with him, why would he want to marry you? However, if a guy begins to lose his hair, his choices diminish. Now Desi guys have a lot of superficial things they can judge girls by. Looks, body, cooking, age, and skin color. Sadly, her personality and her career don’t mean as much. For a Desi girl however, things are less superficial. They care about the guy’s vices, education, job, family background, and sense of humor. However, there is one superficial trait these girls do look at. That is the hairline. A Desi girl would rather marry a 35 year old guy with great hair than a 25 year old going bald.
So while others are saying you should get married at the age of 25, I say you should get married when your hair loss is at 25%. Unless you can buff up and shave your head like Aamir Khan, finding a girl will only get harder. So ladies if you want your man to settle down, I suggest you start commenting on his hairline. A man will put a ring on that finger faster than you can say Rogaine. Besides, what guy wants to look back at his wedding pictures and see a balding old man. It’s quite embarrassing. So unless you’re in love with a girl who’s a dime, I suggest you follow The Hairline Paradigm.
This has been another one of Professor Curry Bear’s Theory.
The Hairline Paradigm
If you go completely bald, you may begin looking cool again if you are in shape and have some kind of tough guy look going on. This is why the numbers drop once you have reached 100% baldness. If you are in shape but have not reached 100% baldness, you may cheat the process by shaving your head.
For the most part I would agree with this. Nice job.
poor guys. this is sad but kind of true in indian culture. my cousin was looking to get married two years ago, and he had trouble finding a girl because he was going bald. mind you he is pretty handsome and had many things going for him. how sad… any girl that rejects a man for the sole reason that he is balding is a girl not worth marrying in the first place. and honestly i prefer older men- always have, always will. and loss of hair/losing hair is of no issue to me. soooooo i think this theory has some flaws… i wish we could test other things though… like sexual proclivity!
Well Nandu87, there is always the exception that proves the rule. I kinda agree with this theory. I don’t want to agree with it but yeah it’s true.
In that case I have maybe two more “single” years left in me.
I agree you can’t be a balding 30 year old man hanging out at clubs and lounges. It’s just creepy. Go raise a family…or something productive with your life.
I think you should get married once all your friends get married. Being single is great but what’s the point if all your friends are married. It’s nice to be able to do whatever you want but if you can’t do it with your friends it’s time to move on.
Sorry I know this was suppose to be about guys but i just had to throw that in there. I guess it can relate to guys too.
There is this old Japanese saying ” Women are like christmas cake..great when they are 25..not so much around 30″ which holds really true IMO. I am 29 and know this 30 something desi NYC socialite who goes out like 5 times a week. Would I have a one night stand with her..hell yeh..date her..not so much..Also older women who have played the field happen to be more demanding and in general a dating nightmare. Thanks to Propecia I still have my hairline or I can shave it off like jason Statham..It’s important that you have a sense of style and workout..hair not so much! So to all those desi guys out there..Do not settle (for anything less)!!
PS: ABCD women also age like shit, just my opinion, cottage cheese, sagging arms and soft butt due to a lack of cardio or workouts. FOB women have bad skin, are hairy and have the shittiest dress sense
I shave my balls
I once made a man insecure about his hairline because he pissed me off. Though I wanted to get rid of him, not marry him. Or actually, I was getting rid of him and wanted to add insult to injury.
(He wasn’t Indian, either. I think this one is more universal.)
I can’t tell if this is suppose to be funny. It makes too much sense.
I wish they had a “likes this” button on your posting curry bears. I hate writing comments but like this.
That’s just awful if that’s true. I have loved men with various levels of hairloss and couldn’t have loved them more if they had a full head of hair. There’s a theory that men with hairloss are more virile–something about high levels of testosterone. And I’d much prefer a man who could make love 5 times a day then one who spent a lot of time in front of the mirror and used more hair products than me.
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I know this post is old, but I still want to to comment. My hairline is receding so I buzz it down to almost nothing. I’ve NEVER had an issue with the ladies. Sure, good looks help, but having genuine confidence as a man and treating a woman right will win over just a full head of hair any day of the week. Staying in shape and eating right only make it better. Sure, some ladies want the hair, but the good ones can see beyond it to things that matter a lot more. Who wants a girl who’s superficial anyway? Don’t kid yourself people, everyone gets uglier in the superficial, skin-deep sense, it’s just part of life.