The Hairline Paradigm
When should I get married? Curry Bear receives many e-mails from guys asking him this question. The second most question I get asked is whether I am a top or a bottom. How young is too young? Well, there is your first mistake. When you should get married has nothing to do with age. An age that is right for you may not be right for another guy. When a guy asks himself if he should get married, this requires thinking and self evaluating. I don’t think this is necessary, if at all. Why ask your mind when your body already gives you the answer?
This is where I (the almighty Curry Bear) came up with a theory I call The Hairline Paradigm. When a man’s hairline begins to recede, so should his desire to be single. This is your body’s way of telling you that you have reached the apex of your looks. You are only going to get uglier, have more wrinkles, get prostate cancer and become balder. Your mind becomes delusional after a few years and lets you believe that you can still be a cool single guy in your mid to late 30s. I hate to pop the bubble, but none of these guys will ever be cool. Remember when you were 18 years old, sneaking into Club Abyss in Sayreville, NJ and you would see old uncles at a club looking awkward? Well, Marty McFly that is your future! Is that what you want? Think McFly …think! Now don’t get me wrong. Some guys can be old and still not get married. Take George Clooney for example. He is an older man but not getting married is not hurting him at all. Why is this? He has a full head of hair. Look at John Stamos. That man can be old as dirt but with that head full of hair, I bet Michelle Tanner would still fuck him.
Desi guys have the luxury of waiting longer to get married. A Desi girl on the other hand has a real hard time getting married after 26. But desi guys have a back up, a.k.a arranged marriages. Since age gaps are so large in our culture, the longer the guy waits the larger the age gap can be. A 35 year old guy marrying a 23 year old girl is not unheard of. Think about it ladies – if a guy knows he will most likely end up with a younger girl than you if you break up with him, why would he want to marry you? However, if a guy begins to lose his hair, his choices diminish. Now Desi guys have a lot of superficial things they can judge girls by. Looks, body, cooking, age, and skin color. Sadly, her personality and her career don’t mean as much. For a Desi girl however, things are less superficial. They care about the guy’s vices, education, job, family background, and sense of humor. However, there is one superficial trait these girls do look at. That is the hairline. A Desi girl would rather marry a 35 year old guy with great hair than a 25 year old going bald.
So while others are saying you should get married at the age of 25, I say you should get married when your hair loss is at 25%. Unless you can buff up and shave your head like Aamir Khan, finding a girl will only get harder. So ladies if you want your man to settle down, I suggest you start commenting on his hairline. A man will put a ring on that finger faster than you can say Rogaine. Besides, what guy wants to look back at his wedding pictures and see a balding old man. It’s quite embarrassing. So unless you’re in love with a girl who’s a dime, I suggest you follow The Hairline Paradigm.
This has been another one of Professor Curry Bear’s Theory.
If you go completely bald, you may begin looking cool again if you are in shape and have some kind of tough guy look going on. This is why the numbers drop once you have reached 100% baldness. If you are in shape but have not reached 100% baldness, you may cheat the process by shaving your head.