Dear Curry Bear- The Desi Guilt Gene
Dear Curry Bear,
ive graduated college and have been working, living at home with the folks.
after watching baghban, i told myself i would always take keep my parents happy
and stay with them, but living with the folks is really driving me insane..
whats the best way for me to solve this? Do i find a new job far away tahtd
force me to move?
Dear “I watch too much Bollywood Girl”,
This is a very touchy issue for a lot of desi people. I do not recommend finding a job far away that will force you to move unless you have a place in mind that you would like to move to. A place where you have friends and a social scene would be acceptable, such as places like N.Y. or Cali. If you move far away just for the sake of moving away from your parents, you will regret it. Yes, you may enjoy the freedom but what the hell are you going to do with that freedom if you move to Smallville, Kansas? You might find a good looking farmboy to plow and roll around in the hay with, but what are you going to do after you are done milking him for all he’s worth? Will you marry him and fuck him with a kryptonite condom? No.
A better option would be to find a job that is 50 miles away or so. It’s close enough so that you can still hang out with your friends but far enough that you can find an excuse not to come home when the weather is bad, when you have to work late, or if you just want to get shit-faced at Old Bay in New Brunswick, NJ. Of course, if you work late you need a place to stay – That is when a friend would come into play. If you don’t have a good friend, then you should not be moving out because you are a loser and no one will hang out with you anyway. Now in order for this to work, you need a good friend who will let you crash at their place once in a while.
The trick to desi parents is that if you make a drastic change, they go on rants. Letting you make sudden drastic changes in your life makes them feel like they are losing control of you. Your job as a desi kid is to give your parents the illusion that they have a big influence on you and they still control you. When you crash at your friends place a few time, this will give them a chance of getting used to you not being around. Then when you bring on the change to them, they won’t object. This transition could take a few months but your parents will be ready for the change by then. If you decide to move in with the friend you are crashing with, than there is pretty much no change to make at all. Before you know it, you are free from your parents curry masala dishes, annoying Zee TV shows and constant complaining. But you are still close enough to visit them to do your laundry, cook you food, and find you a ristha (unless you would rather just marry Curry Bear).
A lot of people would say things like: Stop being a loser and just tell them. What’s the big deal? Just do it! Is six inches a respectable size? Ok, maybe they won’t ask you the last one but you get the idea. Here is the thing, 30% of the desi population have this gene. It’s called “The Desi Guilt Gene” or “DGG” for short. There are a few of us that have this unspoken guilt driven relationship with our parents. No matter how much we want to separate from them, there is a part of us that feels like they need us more than we need them. We feel like we would hurt them if we moved out and we don’t have the heart to do it. A lot of this has to do with the fact that back home in desi populated countries children usually live with their parents. Your parents were probably raised in India so therefore you feel like you are betraying your parents and your culture. Other desi kids do not have this gene and have an easy going relationship with their parents. They do not possess this gene so they just do not understand what you are going through.
My research at Awesome University has concluded that the Desi Guilt Gene, or DGG affects 3 out of every 10 desi kids. Sometimes in a family one kid will get it and the rest will not. The DGG affects people when it comes to marriage. Desi kids will be pressured into marrying whomever their parents choose because of DGG. Curry Bear scientists have been trying to find a cure for ages. Please donate to Curry Bear so we can put an end to the Desi Guilt Gene. For every comment you leave, DesiDanceTeams.com will donate a portion of their vast wealth to this cause as soon as those pretty boys stop dancing to Imran Khan songs.
This message has been brought to you by:
”Desi Guilt Gene Research Center”