CURRY BEAR

Woohoo! It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It comes around every 4 years and gets all the Unclejis excited. It’s the one place where India and Pakistan can duel and not have people killed. It’s Curry Bear’s favorite sport.

Kids, Baseball is a good sport, but Cricket is the real bat & ball game. Like Popa Bear used to say, gloves are for pussies. Cricket is a game of skill, determination and intellect. But lets not compare the two sports. Many people don’t know the rules of Cricket. It’s a shame – if you’re from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka or Bangladesh, you should know how to play Cricket. If you’re from either of those countries, you should also know how to wipe your butt without using toilet paper.

Since the Worldcup has started, Curry Bear would like to take this week to give you tutorials about Cricket. The first thing we need to do is establish that Cricket is not a gay sport. And I don’t just say that because during break the players go drink tea. In Cricket, you will come across terms such as “Queer Off”, “Deep Fine Cock”, “Square Trouser” and “Outfield Nancy”. These are different positions for players – and there is nothing gay about it. I’m talking about the different positions the players stand at while they’re on the field.

The picture above should give you a general outline of the players on the field. Please try your best to not laugh at the silly terms the British came up with.

But why should you be interested in Cricket? Well, when you live in America, you’re only exposed to American sports. Is the World Series of Baseball really a “World” series if only American teams are playing? In my opinion, a “World” anything should involve more than one country. Americans are so arrogant that they give a “World” championship title to a sport played only by the 50 continental states.

Cricket and Baseball do have many similarities. In Cricket, the Batter is called “Batsman” and the Pitcher is called the “Bowler”. The Catcher is called “Wicket Keeper” and the Umpires are called um…um….um….Umpires.

That’s the lesson for today. Tomorrow we’ll dwell further into details so you can be prepped up for the Worldcup and talk to your Dads & Unclejis about this topic.