CURRY BEAR

Curry Bear brings to you another Special Guest Article written by Dr. Monikat. I am not sure what a doctor is doing talking about advertising, but she seems to be a cat of many lives. This is her article about hair dye. Hopefully it will be helpful to you girls who change your hair color more than you change your tooth brush.

This is why I love Advertising! So, today in class, we had a ‘brainstorming session’ for our advertising campaigns. This translates into ‘let’s mess around and have a few laughs’ and today was no different! This one girl in our class decided to choose to work on the product, ‘garnier, multi-lights’, do it yourself, home kit. BIG MISTAKE. My friend and I looked at each other and burst out laughing! She wanted to advertise the worst hair product in the history of all bad hair products and trust me when I say this because I’m living proof! (As is my friend)

So, one day I decide to give myself a makeover (and that too, right before my friends’ wedding where I would be performing at the sangeet!). So I go to my nearest drugstore (this product is far too easily available) and go about ‘streaking’ my own hair. Now children- there are a very valid reason why beauty salons charge the moon for this procedure. It’s not as simple as the leaflet claims. It cannot be done while your mother insists on helping you out while she’s simultaneously chasing your dog around for hiding biscuits under her pillow. And it should not be done by you, UNDER ANY CIRCUSTANCES.

Why? Because this is what will happen to you. You will firstly leave it in your hair beyond the designated time frame. then you will not notice how you’ve bleached your beautiful black tresses into a shade that doesn’t even warrant mention- oh no, you wont notice this till AFTER you’ve washed the hazard out of your hair. And then you will look like….well…. (cringing at the memory)….you will look like your hair decided to take malicious spite on your face. The coloration comes out uneven and splotchy. And even worse, BLONDE! So then, to cover it all up, you will dye your hair a relatively less atrocious color, aka burgundy, which, because you’ve bleached your hair (refer- self -inflicted streaks), will show up as BRIGHT coppery red. And if this isn’t adding enough insult to injury, your own best friend will say, ‘dude why?’…right to your face. Solution? Shave that bitch off! What I did? I cut off my long, waist-length tresses which were protesting in agony at being subjected to such harsh chemicals, and even harsher humiliation. and then I dyed my hair black again. Laughing out loud are you?! Bite me!!

This product should come with a very very prominent disclaimer! The real Advertisements are all wrong! So now, I propagate the anti-garnier multi-light product campaign. Check it out. and believe it! For the love of hair, believe it!

This article is very fascinating to me. I figured out why every single fob I ever known has a bad dye job. Listen to Dr. Monikat, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRSUMSTANCE do it yourself. I don’t know what happened but a few years ago every fob in the world decided I’ll dye my hair. Maybe they saw it in a Shah Rukh Khan movie, but you know what I’m taking about. I’m talking about that dorky kid in your computer class that can’t dress at all, but has orange brown crispy highlights standing out in his black oily hair. This fob was so embarrassed about dying his hair, he runs into this bathroom turns on the shower (so no one will know what he is doing), then continues to apply this product on himself. I plead with you fobs out there, stop this madness. Yes Brad Pitt looks hot in highlights, but you don’t.

Yes, I know there are a few guys out there who have a decent dye jobs. I’m glad you had your friend do it for you. You guys are not fobs. You guys are worse. You are metro-sexual! Yes it’s ok to be metro-sexual if you want to date a chick that is going to wake up one morning and go “Man, I might as well have married your sister”. I also understand, when back in high school desi guys use to dye their hair to look different, but now that every Tipu, Hardik,, and Hari look like they have frosted their tips with a highlighter. It’s time to stop. Please prevent the cruelty of hair. Your hair is your friend. It protects your head from being cold in the winter, and makes you look younger. Please don’t insult your hair by making it look like its on fire. You may be flaming, but your hair shouldn’t have to share the same faith.