So here is the Curry Bear story. I am Curry Bear. Curry Bear comics began as a simple joke about a white guy and a Pakistani guy: White Mike and Uneeq. More and more jokes were added every week under the alias “Curry Bear”. They were posted on a friend’s NJIT student web space. Somewhere along the way, I started making fun of a girl who had an abortion. Due to legal purposes, I can’t say the name of this girl, so I shall call her “The Bitch”. This Bitch used to be best-friends with my buddy Rahul. She thought that Rahul was making these comics and that he was Curry Bear. Unfortunately, Rahul is not Curry Bear. No one will ever find out the secret identity of Curry Bear, because I am Curry Bear. Poor Rahul suffered quite a bit because of The Bitch assumed that he was Curry Bear. The Bitch went and reported the comics to the Dean of NJIT. The Dean disabled Rahul’s UCID access. He wasn’t able to check his email, log into computers in the pc lab and take exams for his online class. The Curry Bear website, which was hosted on Rahul’s NJIT student web space, had to be taken down. Luckily Rahul got his access back the next day. However, he still can’t access the computers in the pc lab because a bunch of stupid Indian FOBS at the HelpDesk. Those smelly retards still haven’t restored his access because that place is run by idiots.
The comic this week illustrates the encounter between Rahul and the Dean. Ofcourse, everything is a bit exaggerated. I have to hand it to Rahul though, he went head-to-head with the Dean and wasn’t scared. He said that him and the Dean were talking to each other in an angry tone. Truth is, the Dean couldn’t do anything to Rahul. This was a personal issue that should have been settled in the people’s court, not at the Dean’s office. All of us were wondering what was going to happen to Rahul. I personally was hoping he would get expelled so I could laugh at him. Luckily, it all ended up with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.
Why did I make fun of a girl’s abortion in the first place? I personally don’t have anything against her, but she did say some stupid things to my friend Rahul. The story, according to Rahul, goes like this: One day The Bitch comes to Rahul asking him to borrow $100 to pay off a parking ticket. At the same time, she tells him that she is pregnant and going to get an abortion. Rahul gladly gives the money to help a friend. In return, what happens? Weeks later she calls Rahul an asshole for taking advantage of other girls and how he has changed. I agree with her on that point. Rahul is a scumbag and takes advantage of girls, especially 15 year olds. However, if Rahul gave $100 to help me out, I wouldn’t call him an asshole, no matter who he rapes. Rahul ignored The Bitch for the next few months, but she kept trying to talk to him like nothing ever happened. And what does she do a week after the abortion? Go partying with the same friends who talk shit behind her back, and grind with the baby-daddy. Now Rahul’s my friend, so I believe in the philosophy of “Bro’s Before Ho’s”. The abortion comics were created to teach The Bitch a lesson. Everyone was were under the impression that Rahul was making the comics, but in reality it was me. Out of all her Gujju friends, no one had the balls to come and defend her or even kick Rahul’s ass. The ltruth I’ve seen is that Gujju guys who pretend to be thugs can’t fight. NJIT apparently has a lot of them. You’ll see them sitting in the student center and acting like thugs by saying the word “nigga” in every sentence. Even the baby-daddy didn’t do much. All he did was tell Rahul to watch his back. That homo couldn’t punch through water, let alone kick Rahul’s ass. Even today The Bitch hangs out with these people because popularity means more to her than true friendship. Moral of the story: Rahul’s a good guy, and The Bitch is dumb.
Now Curry Bear is back! Our comics are better looking and original. I don’t have to steal comics from Penny-Arcade. I am not going to hold back anything this season. No one’s secret is safe! Curry Bear knows all! The abortion jokes are over now. I can only come up with so many abortion jokes before it gets boring. This is the new season of Curry Bear and it will be better than the last one.
For those of you who are wondering who Curry Bear is, don’t think too much. You’ll never guess who it really is. You may speculate it to be one of Rahul’s friends, or maybe you think its Uneeq, but you’ll never solve the mystery.