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Curry Bear’s Favorite Video Games

Filed under Games | Posted by CurryBear

OK so you might be wondering why Curry Bear hasn’t posted an entry in two days. The truth is I took a break from being awesome and spent some time playing a few games I’ve been missing out on. Curry Bear is an awesome gamer when he is not blogging or begging for money.

box-art-gta-iv.jpgThe most recent addition to my library of cool video games is Grand Theft Auto IV. It’s a game where I can reenact my fantasies of running over hookers and beating up random strangers on the street. I don’t care what mommy and daddy have to say about this game, it is a lot of fun. This game is not just about running people over with cars and kicking their ass (if it were, the game would be titled “Newark, NJ” instead of GTAIV). You play a European FOB who has just arrived to Liberty City (a.k.a New York City). You go see your cousin and from there you try to make it rich. Sounds a lot like the plot for Scarface right? I honestly feel that if there were more games like these that let you kill people, bang hookers, run through red lights, steal cars and bang hookers again, then there would be less crime in this world. I sometimes fantasize about stealing my neighbors Audi A8, but because of this game I don’t do it. Any man who owns an Xbox 360 or PS3 must have this game in his library.

mario-kart-wii.jpgMario Kart for the Wii is more fun than putting your roomate’s contact info under the “Men Seeking Men” section of Craigslist.org. The Mario Kart series is probably my favorite racing game series. Like ever. Grand Turismo can suck on my turtle shells. Mario Kart is basically racing with the opportunity to destroy all other racers with the wackiest objects. You can hit opponents with red shells, bananas, shrink them with lightning and even shock them with stars. These are only a few of the elements and there’s a lot more in store. Now that I think about it, Mario Kart is basically the kiddie version of GTA IV. If Mario Kart were like GTA IV, then Bowser would steal Mario’s cart and fuck the princess in the backseat. Although you don’t get any hookers in this game, they throw in one free steering wheel with the purchase. You don’t really need because the remote can act as a wheel alone. But it doesn’t hurt to own a $10 round piece of plastic to look cool while you turn side to side. It was hard to get used to the wheel but once you get a handle on it (yes, pun intended), it’s really easy. I like playing Mairo Kart by myself but it’s always more fun to destroy people you know. You may not have the guts to kill your annoying friends, but throwing a red turtle shell will help. In Mario Kart Wii, you can play multiplayer with 3 other people or race against others online. You can buy a Wii for Uncle Ramesh in Mumbai and race him. Hands down, Mario Kart is the most fun you’ll have in a racing game. The Wii makes it so much easy for non-gamers to get in on the action. If you ever see “Curry Bear” on Mario Kart online, holler at me doggies.

So yeah, these two games are basically what keep me busy. If you think C-Bear should be playing games you think are cool, then drop him a quick e-mail using the E-Mail C-Bear page.

Curry Bear Comics - The West Nile Saga Part 1

Filed under General, Comics | Posted by CurryBear

The West Nile Saga Part 1
West Nile Virus

Alright…alright…I admit, I have not been putting out my A game the last few days. I have been too busy to post. Curry Bear too gets busy. CBizzle has been having one hell of a week. Everything from work stuff to car trouble has been coming up this week. Curry Bear has 99 problems and a bitch is one. Even though I have been slacking… our awesome artist Natalie has not. She’s still turning out awesome artwork for new Curry Bear Comics. She even threw in a special guest star! Also I am not going to proof read my post so feel free to pick apart and bash this post because frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

Do You Get it?

Filed under General, Do You Get It? | Posted by CurryBear

n562117326_692981_5346.jpg

Check out Curry Bear’s new game called “Do you get it?” It’s a picture and you have to guess the joke. Similar to the cake picture I had up a few months ago. If you get the joke you can laugh at all the people who don’t get it or you can ruin our fun by telling them.

Curry Bear’s Ranting - Random Things That Piss Me Off

Filed under Articles | Posted by CurryBear

angry-cb2.jpgYou want to know something that Curry Bear hates? Girls who tell me “nothing is wrong” when it is obvious that something is seriously wrong. I hate it when I call up a girl and from the moment she says “hello”, I just know from the tone of her voice that she is pissed off at me. I don’t need to have Spider-sense to know that I am the reason she is angry. I ask, “So what’s bothering you?” and expect some bitching about how much I suck at life. But the “nothing is wrong, just forget it OK” response is worse. I would rather have a girl bitch and yell at me over something stupid than just say “nothing is wrong” in a somber tone. At least when she starts bitching, I can point the phone to the ground and save myself from the radiation.

It is the fear of the unknown that scares people the most and it is no different when it comes to relationships. Not knowing the reason why some girl is mad at you is like not knowing who is trying to kill you. We all know women do some very unexplainable things in life. Ladies, I like you all and can tolerate you most of the time. But there are certain things you do that really irritate me (and all men out there). If I’m having a good day, I can let a woman get away with murder (as long as she kills someone I don’t know). But catch me on a bad day and give me attitude, well, that’s just a no-no. Women have their PMS and men have tolerance. The day a man’s tolerance level goes down is the day he starts hitting bitches. I respect women and understand that we live in a society where hitting a woman is frowned upon. But sometimes I just wish we could celebrate a “Beat a bitch with a bat without losing man points” day. I know a lot of girls who could use that beating. Readers, please don’t make this a real holiday on Facebook and start inviting people. It’s all fun and games until some girl gets a black eye and sues you.

Girls who use the “nothing is wrong” line and then give attitude are doing two things: 1) creating unnecessary drama and 2) testing their man’s tolerance. Ladies, you don’t want to push your man to his limits. A man’s tolerance is one of the crucial things that keeps him in a relationship. Unlike regular unleaded gas, you can’t go to an Exxon Mobil station to refill your man’s tolerance. There’s a joke in here about gas prices but I leave it up to you to come up with something. Women often wonder why some guys just randomly break up with them. It’s not because he’s found someone better - sometimes men just run out of tolerance for a girl.

I think all women should understand where her man stands in the Hot Vs. Tolerance scale. Not familiar with the Hot Vs. Tolerance scale? Allow C-Bear to explain.

scale.jpg

A girl’s hotness is proportional to her man’s tolerance. The hotter the girl, the higher her man’s tolerance. Looking at the chart above - an extremely hot girl will have a man whose tolerance level is at point B. This man will walk her dog, carry her purse and even do her Organic Chemistry homework. Meanwhile, a not-so-hot girl will have a man whose tolerance level is point A. This girl will be lucky if her man walks her back home after a date. Although love and attraction play a big part in a relationship, I believe that tolerance also plays a key role. As a relationship gets old and the love is not as fresh as it was in the beginning, sometimes the only thing keeping two people together is their tolerance for each other.

Would any of you ladies touch a fence that says “Danger: DO NOT TOUCH! 440 VOLTS”? I didn’t think so. Similarly, don’t piss off your man with unnecessary bullshit and test his tolerance. Next time you are angry at your man, take a deep breath and think rationally. Every time I get angry at a girl, I ask myself “What would Neil Patrick Harris do?” Then I brand that bitch’s ass with “CB 4 Life”.

Curry Mail - The Pyramid of “Who Is Trying To Bang My Girlfriend?”

Filed under General, Curry Mail | Posted by CurryBear

Hey curry bear

I wanted to write about my girlfriend Rupal. She has too many guy friends. Even though our relationship is great I can’t help but feel unsecure. I donno what to do about it. She assures me everythings ok and all her guy friends are just friends. What makes me even more unsecure is that she dorms while I commute to skool. Am I being over-protective and insecure or should I lay back? I really like this girl so I dont wanna screw it all up y’a know. Any advice?

-Don’t wanna leave a name

Dear Uknown Guy,

Thanks for writing to Curry Bear. This is what C-Bear is all about - helping his fellow men/bears with relationship problems.

Let’s reiterate your question - are you being too over-protective or should you lay back a little? Hmmm…how can I put this… Let me ask you a few questions? Should the Spartans have “laid back” when King Xerxes came marching with his army of 10,000+? Should the Power Rangers have “laid back” when Lord Zed attacked the Command Center and the Megazord was destroyed? Should they have ever produced The Matrix sequels? HELL FUCKING NO!

Uknown Guy, what you need to realize is that having a girlfriend is a constant battle. You will constantly be fighting off other men from boinking your woman. Of course, I don’t mean fighting literally. In today’s modern world, you’re fighting guys differently. The whole battlefield has changed. In the old days, a guy spoke to your woman and you had a legitimate reason to kick his ass - no questions asked. If you tried to do that now, you end up looking like an asshole.

Don’t ever become naive and think for a second that any man is not trying to have sex with your woman. Lucky for you, I was able to create a “Pyramid of Who Is Trying To Bang My Girlfriend” (copyright Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother).

Have a look at the pyramid below:


pyramid_of_boink.jpg

This pyramid will show you which guys to look out for. Let’s start talking about each one starting from the top.

Your Girlfriend’s BFF - This category only applies if her BFF is a guy. Yes, a lot of young girls seem to have this new fad of having a guy best friend. There’s nothing wrong with a guy and girl being friends. But don’t ever become naive and think that her BFF has absolutely no intentions of taking her for a ride like she’s the new Batmobile. If you’re lucky, you may get stuck with a girl whose BFF is gay but that is very rare in the desi crowd. Put yourself in his shoes and think for a second - if you were friends with a girl, wouldn’t you think about getting with her especially if you share so many things in common? If I had a girlfriend, I would rather let her be BFF with a lion than a guy. At least with a lion, he would eat her meat and not the other way around. The way I see it, you should let your girlfriend be friends with guys, but don’t be naive! You are a guy - you should know how all men think.

Your Girlfriend’s Ex-boyfriends - Ex-boyfriends are like X-Men! Freaking mutants! And I’m not talking about the cool mutants like Wolverine or Magneto. I’m talking about the shitty mutants like the Blob and Spyke. If you have a girlfriend who talks to her ex-boyfriends, be very careful. I say this because generally when a couple breaks up, it’s a bad break up and the two never speak again. There is no such thing as a good break up, or unicorns for that matter. A girlfriend who is still “cool” with her ex-boyfriend is a good sign that there is some unfinished business. If the two ever meet again after a long time, especially alone, it’ll be like thunder. According to my “Relationship For Dummies” book, Chapter 7 says that “Ex-boyfriends should be kept away from your girlfriend at all times. Your girlfriend should avoid her ex-boyfriend like he’s the Bubonic plague.”

Guys SHE Hangs Out With - This category basically translates to “Guys Your Girlfriend Hangs Out With When You’re Not Around And You Don’t Know Who They Are”. Even if she’s hanging out with a bunch of guys at a Bible study group, you should not let your guard down. As a man, you should know how other men think and put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself, “Hey I’m Rupal’s friend and we always hang out at parties. Would I want to have sex with her? Hells yeah!” The only way to fix this issue is by becoming friends with these people. If your girlfriend is keeping you from being friends with them, then this should be a sign that there is something black in your dal. Damn, it doesn’t sound so cool when you say it in English. If she’s OK with you being friends with the guys, then seize the opportunity and show them you’re the Alpha Dog. If they’re smaller than you, you may proceed to kick their ass. I mean, kick their ass in Wii Boxing of course. Shit, you think I promote violence on this site?

Guys Who Constantly Talk To Your Girlfriend - This is a separate category from guys your girlfriend hangs out with. The reason is simple: girls can meet guys online. There were times when people only met in person. Today, guys can find a girl on Facebook and five pokes later, they are having coffee at Starbucks. If that guy Karan keeps IMing your girlfriend the moment she gets online or takes off her away message, then he is no doubt trying to boink her. Hopefully your girl will think of them as “pervs” and won’t talk to them that much. But be careful if your girl is constantly talking to some guy on AIM for hours or writing 20 messages a day on a guy’s wall. These guys are like ninjas. They will silently enter your girlfriends heart and then proceed to throw a ninja star in your heart. Your girlfriend is always looking for guys to talk about her problems, and these guys are the perfect candidates. My advice on this scenario is to either break her laptop or tell Facebook that she is an ex-teacher who had sex with 14-year old boys.

Her Girlfriend’s Guy Friends - This category basically applies to any guys that your girlfriend’s friends know. If you’re not tight with her “girls”, then chances are they don’t like you either. Impressing your girlfriend’s friends is as important as impressing her parents and brushing your teeth every morning. If they don’t like you, they will try to hook her up with one of the guys they know. It gets even worse if the guy they want her to get with likes her back. Seriously Uknown Guy, this is real life and not a Shah Rukh Khan movie. You should not expect love and relationships to be as peachy as Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Real relationships are more like Company - meaning that sometimes you just want to kill each other for no reason.

Curry Bear - Now settle down. I don’t mean that, I, Curry Bear am trying to fuck your girlfriend, although I am. But Curry Bear represents all other men you know that are not related by blood to your girlfriend. Yes, all men are trying to fuck your girlfriend. Think of your girlfriend as the twin towers (no, not like that you sicko!). All other men on this planet are terrorists and you are President George W. Bush (with a higher IQ and no false intel from the CIA). What do you do? Sit back and let them keep on attacking or do you attack your enemy? Fending off other guys is a constant battle and is a 24/7 job. Don’t be the guy who thinks his relationship is all lovey-dovey-kiss-kiss when in reality it’s more like “I’m a whore and I’m cheating on you”. I know it’s not a real song, but I couldn’t come up with anything.

Don’t be a fool and get back stabbed. I’ve seen way too many naive guys who come visit their girlfriend in the dorms once in a while and the rest of the time she’s sleeping with the whole floor. But all kidding aside, the most important lesson that you should gather from all this is that you should respect your woman, but also make sure your woman respects you and please don’t become a paranoid mess. Be smart, be cool, be wise and be awesome.

If any of you readers want to e-mail Curry Bear with questions, please use the E-mail C-Bear page. It will send a direct e-mail to CB.

Dear Curry Bear - Why No More Dance Competitions?

Filed under Dear Curry Bear, Dance Competitions | Posted by CurryBear

Hey Curry Bear,

Did you attend BOB4? I don’t see anything posted about BOB and would really
like to know what you think.

Thanks!

Dear Didi,

Thank you for e-mailing CB. Unfortunately, Curry Bear did not attend BOB this year. Curry Bear was not invited by the BOB people to review the event and/or teams. Normally, we would make an exception for BOB because we like them and they have a good relationship with our friends at DesiDanceTeams.com (yes, they’re sleeping with each other). But the show was in Chicago and it was just not economical for Curry Bear to fly down there with my entourage (I got a real turtle bitches). If they had formally invited us, we would have made the trip. What can I say, I have low self-esteem and do not show up where I am not invited (unless it’s in the tri state area and hot girls on teams like Hofstra and Baruch make it worth my while).

Many event organizers are smart and invite CB for a review. This is very beneficial because when Curry-B gets invited to an event, he promotes that event and ratings skyrocket like it’s a new episode of Seinfeld (true story). Many of the shows Curry Bear has promoted have sold out such as PhillyFest and IND Hangama. Even though some events do not need promotions to sell out, they understand that the reviews are not for them but rather for the dancers and invite Curry Bear anyway. Although it will benefit them by giving their event a stronger name for next year, the reviews are for the teams. Also, Curry Bear is a very cocky bear.

cb.jpgCurry Bear started doing reviews because so many teams put their heart into a dance and left with nothing. Some teams got harsh criticism, but they came back stronger because of it. Some teams should have placed and they left with heavy hearts. Is it right for teams to put so much time and effort into a dance and see nothing for it? Curry Bear always reviews the management and the staff at events and acknowledges their hard work too. Curry Bear does his reviews for the ones who don’t see a dime from the event and just do it for the love, charity and awesomeness. Also, I often hear complaints about crappy events. Hopefully, event organizers take my comments to work on improvements. This is why Curry Bear does reviews for events. He does them for the teams, the fans, the aunties, the uncles and the hot daughters of uncles and aunties. I always try to do my review so people who aren’t up to date with the dance scene or avid readers of DDT will understand what I am talking about. And this is one thing people at PunjabOnline do not appreciate when I do bhangra reviews. Because I don’t use terms like “phumania”, “jugni”, “mirza”, “sayalkoti” and such when describing a performance, they tend to hate and say we don’t know anything about Bhangra. Had I used these terms, my readers, who do not have a PhD in bhangra, would have no idea what I am talking about. I try to help spread the culture and the dance scene with the reviews to my readers who’ve never been to one of these exhilarating events.

Another factor in deciding what event to go to are our friends at DesiDanceTeams.com. Sometimes they will buy tickets themselves out of their own pocket and give Curry Bear tickets to go review the show. DesiDanceTeams.com is the biggest portal for South Asian dance teams and they know what the people want. If they hear people want a Curry Bear review for an event on their discussion boards, they will not only buy us tickets, but also provide us with a photographer to use for our Curry Bear bubbles. One of the DDT fellows even bought me a lap dance (I will never forget you Carmen). The DDT folks also help with the reviews by giving us background information on teams and names of songs I don’t know. Now I am not saying that the next time an event asks you if you would like to perform, you should ask them if Curry Bear will be reviewing their event. But it’s something to think about and a Curry Bear review is better than no review. I guess you could say I was bearagging a little, but hopefully I answered your question Didi.

But all jokes aside about how awesome I am, here are some things people have said about Curry Bear after we reviewed their team:


Hey curry bear!
I would just like to personally thank you SO much for the review you put up on ddt. i emailed the naachvention board about 982093493249 times under various aliases BEGGING them to invite you to the show, but i guess they were preoccupied with other things and never responded to me. I was sooo upset that our last dance wouldnt get to be reviewed by you…
anyway, so i got a text message from our choreographer about ten minutes ago telling the team (baruch andaaz) to go to DDT to read a review that was posted and… wow
thank you SO much. you made so many of our team members, including myself, BAWL at the review. it was way more than i expected and really great for us to have that for our final performance. my only regret is that we did not get to perform the dance to a larger audience… or to you live… but anyway i just wanted to thank you SO MUCH again for that review because it was the icing on the cake to this whole experience :-)
-Amy from Baruch

READ THE FULL ENTRY…

Baby Tossing In India

Filed under Videos | Posted by CurryBear


Indian Baby Tossing Ritual - Watch more free videos

I find this video disturbing and funny at the same time. Disturbing because a baby is being tossed on a trampoline made out of a bed sheet. It’s funny because the video has Spanish music playing in the background. I don’t recall ever seeing this in India myself. I don’t know what the purpose of dropping a baby from a building onto a trampoline is suppose to do.

Here are my 5 guesses on why they’re dropping the baby:
1. The man dropping the baby is not the baby daddy.
2. It’s the new form of population control in India because no one wants to practice abstinence.
3. They’re checking to see how babies bounce so they can be used as cricket balls.
4. India’s defense budget is so low that instead of dropping bombs on its enemies, it will drop babies. They have more babies than bombs.
5. These villagers in the video just saw the movie 300.

Curry Bear Comics - South Carolina

Filed under Comics | Posted by CurryBear

South Carolina
South Carolina

There comes a point in most people’s lives when they have to move away. Some people move away when they are in school, making it easier to make friends. However, what happens when you move away after school? You graduate and get a job far away. You move away from your friends and family and the only thing that will console your lonely tears is easy mode on Guitar Hero 3.

Now making friends is not hard for some people, but for others it is like trying to get a blow job from a girl wearing a burka. Sometimes you just have to adventure out and take a risk. Sometimes you just have to take your phone and go bar hopping until 3 in the morning by yourself while text messaging all your friends so you don’t feel like a loser. Even though before you know it, your a Desi guy in a lesbian bar in South Carolina called the blue martini watching rednecks dance to Lil’ Wayne.

This comic goes out to all the people who will move or have already moved out and started their new lives outside their comfort zone. It’s not difficult if you know one or two people but when you move to a place where you don’t know anyone remember one thing. You always have Curry Bear.

Ferri & Nore - Make-Up & Cake Bitches

Filed under Special Guest Author | Posted by CurryBear

Fudgy the Whale/turdCurry Bear met two lovely ladies a few weeks ago and had an amazing conversation with them. Ferri & Nore are two beautiful young desi girls with extensive background in Cosmetology. After talking to these two make-up artist about how horrible some desi girls look with their make-up. I came up with a brilliant idea to have them write an article for me. Please show Ferri & Nore some love and check out their first article. Please feel free to e-mail curry bear if you would like them to write about anything related with cosmetology and beauty. Curry Bear can get away with a lot of gay stuff, but writing an article about make-up would definitely require me to turn in my man card. This is good information for both men and women (and possibly bears).


Hi Curry Bear Readers,
We are Ferri & Nore (Make-up Artist) and we went to a wedding last week and saw an aunty whose face was fifty (50) times whiter than her neck. We thought to ourselves, either she is trying out for the Bollywood circus or she (like many desi women) does not know the proper way to apply make-up. As, Ferri would say, “Girl, I know you know what I am talking about (said in a middle age black women’s tone)”. The woman just looked like a clown. We wouldn’t be surprised if she came out of a tiny car and had balloon animals in her cleavage. We never could understand why aunties always tried to make themselves whiter than they truly are. I mean you can put a birthday candle on a turd, but that won’t make it taste like a Carvel Ice cream cake (no matter how much the turd resembles Fudgy the Whale).

Has “Fair and Lovely” gotten so expensive that they can’t afford to use it on their neck too? If you can put that stuff on your face, why not the rest of your body? A piece of advice to all the guys out there, when you see a girl make sure you check her hands to see if she is fooling you with her make-up. You don’t want to be bamboozled by these “Cake Bitches” (CB’s words not mine).

“Cake Bitches” is term Curry Bear coined when we were talking to him about this article. A “Cake Bitch”, according to our sexy associate C Bizzle, is a girl with too much frosting on the cake. In other words she wears too much make-up/ foundation. To all my sister’s out there, please listen to us, white doesn’t signify beauty. Please don’t put anymore foundation on than your face can handle, that’s just torturing your pores. The days when white and fairer skin people were thought more beautiful than darker women are behind us. Maybe not to your aunty but to our generation, it’s not the defining factor in beauty anymore. We now have white people getting tans so often that they’ll even risk skin cancer. Not to mention hot darker skin girls in Bollywood like Bipasha. Brown is the new white, ladies.

There’s nothing more beautiful than simplicity. Foundation is never the simplest thing to apply, especially when you don’t have the right color. Embrace your natural skin tone; choose a color that matches it. We have been putting make-up on since we were five and have taken several make-up training classes and then some. Believe me, when we tell you that foundation is meant to provide coverage for uneven skin tones and blemish areas, not to make you look like a Ronald McDonald. Now, if you’re stuck or are having difficulty choosing the right foundation, here is the desi thing to do. Make the trip to Macy’s and ask a Clinique sales agent for help. They are the pretty ladies wearing fake lab coats pretending to be sexy make-up doctors. At the end of the day you don’t have to purchase their foundation, you did your homework and know from an experienced professional the correct foundation for your skin tone. Remember, you get what you pay for. So don’t pay to look like a white man with red hair, when your natural beauty comes for free.

This has been a Ferri & Nore public service announcement brought to you by Curry Bear.

Ferri & Nore
F’N Beautiful

PS: Please be sure to look out for our new website, products, and services coming soon.

Curry Bear Likes Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay But Hates Long Titles

Filed under Movies | Posted by CurryBear

harold-kumar2-thumb.jpgThis weekend I saw Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay like most brown and chini people. The only thing I can say about this movie is that no review I write will be as funny as the movie itself. The movie picks up right after the first one with Kumar taking a massive dump after eating 30 burgers. On their way to Amsterdamn, Harold & Kumar run into trouble with the law when they’re mistaken for terrorists on a plane. Even though the movie is titled “escape from Guantanamo Bay”, the escape doesn’t take longer than 10 minutes. I thought this whole movie was about the escape, but I’m glad they didn’t turn the plot into the first season of Prison Break.

What I liked about this movie? Well, I really enjoyed Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and the sequel to me is at the same level as the prequel. Most sequels usually bomb big time (Speed 2 anyone?) but this movie lives up to the original. I haven’t laughed so hard during a movie since Superbad. This movie is not meant for uptight people, which is why all the critics seem to be giving bad reviews. Seriously, Roger Ebert needs to smoke some weed.

In Escape From Guantanamo Bay, we’re introduced to many new characters. One is Kumar’s old flame and the other is Rob Corddry, a douchebag government agent who is hell bent on putting these “terrorists” in prison. Although all the characters in this movie had their A-game on, Rob Corddry is the one who really outdid himself. I can picture this guy becoming a major star and joining the ranks of Steve Carell because I can see the future. The one person I was really looking forward to in this movie was none other than Neil Patrick Harris. I love this guy on How I Met Your Mother. Sometimes I wonder if NPH is really a drug devouring, whore banging awesome guy as portrays himself to be. My only complaint was that they didn’t show more of NPH as I hoped for. Harold and Kumar are as funny as they were in the first movie and still have some awesome lines. Kal Penn may have sucked in 24 and Superman, but he is just fantastic in this movie. I guess part of the reason why I like him on House is because he plays a sober version of Kumar on the show. Kal Penn has paved the way for other actors of desi origin to some day make it into Hollywood and have sex with a white girl and a bag of weed.

Should you go watch Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay? Hell yes! This is not a movie to be missed whether you smoke pot or not. Whether you’re a stoner, just an average college kid, a 45-year old Jewish guy or just a bear who loves curry, you will love this movie. You know who won’t like this movie? Old white people who like Dick Cheney. If you don’t fit in the former category, chances are this movie will have you laughing hard. Yes, even harder than my penis after I watch a Victoria’s Secret commercial.

Hmm…what do we give this movie? I will give Harold & Kumar 4.5 paws out of 5. This means that one poor bear will have his paw cut in half. The one thing that sucks about sequels is that you never get that experience you had when saw the original. It’s like having sex with a girl. Every time you bang a new girl for the first time, it’s a lot of fun and there’s this special aura that you will remember. You can never repeat that same moment again the second time you’re boinking her. I’m sure whether this logic applies to girls, but hopefully you get the point. Do tell Curry Bear how you felt about this movie. Did you all like it as much as I did?

Note to everyone: Don’t leave the theater until the credits are completely done. You might miss out on some unfinished business otherwise.